Friday, April 24, 2009

disfigured recognition

Someone she held close to her heart had gotten erased from her memory. It might have been because she requested it to be done, or it might have been involuntary. Hardly the point seeing as the end result remains that she does not remember him, and therefore she will not know whether this was what she wanted or not.

So now he comes along in her reality and her dreams, and she does not recognise him. However, fate being ever so sadistic, leaves her with an uneasy sense of familiarity and sadness. She wonders what this sense could be. Being a romantic, she believes it to be love from another time.

She eventually kills herself, because whether it was love from another time or not, it was not love now and this shadow memory fate left her with only frightened her and caused her to weep.

She liked to believe she had control over her mind, when that turned out to be false, she took her own life; it was simply too confusing, too much of a bother to breathe to give life to a mind which had a life of its own, and then where was she?Her soul had been cut in half. It was done, it was a mess and all very confusing. Now shes no more, so lets leave it at that.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

on sexual harassment

its tough to define exactly to what extent the actions/words of men can amount to sexual harassment of a woman. The same actions/words by a friend may be forgiven, but coming from someone else might still be harassment. Sometimes, if it does not quite amount to harassment, sadly, its the only thing you can term the horrible thing done/said to get any sort of response from an entirely incapable-of-understanding majority in society.

From personal experience, men seldom, if ever, understand what comprises sexual harassment unless its in a form which slaps you in the face. The anger hurt fear and shame a girl feels when it does happen to her, make it very hard to miss when it does happen. We had a lesson in our sociology course, a class which most people in my class couldn't quite follow, that it is very hard to chalk out the same idea of 'modesty' for every girl - it does differ - so when it comes to outraging a girl's modesty, its very hard to determine when it has been done and when not.

Anyway, I was talking about anger, hurt, fear and shame - very strong emotions - not always translating into strong actions by the girl concerned though. Sometimes, fear or shame is overpowering so we shut up. Sometimes the hurt is overpowering so we cry. And sometimes, the anger is overpowering and we react.

Now, Noone can judge when a girl who has been through such an episode, whether in your eyes it amounts to sexual harrassment or just harmless teasing, has anger, hurt, fear or shame overpowering her. Sometimes, women who have been raped only have the principal element of fear or shame and cannot file a complaint. Sometimes, what maybe construed as harmless teasing, over years of feeling helpless or turning ones back, can allow anger to be overpowering.

If she reacts, and you havent the slightest clue how it feels to be in a position where you feel the way she does then, you shut the hell up. You dont judge. You dont criticise. You dont support. You dont argue. You cannot begin to have the slightest clue, so you shut the hell up.

Its always easy to comment- shouldve complained, or in the other hand, she shouldve not made such a big deal out of something - its personal, complicated and beyond your understanding, whether youre a girl or a boy- honestly, you cannot ever know for sure, so you shut up.